Sunday, November 14, 2010

I have borrowed most of this post from my personal blog. Today I went to see Shelby Angel for our weekly visit. It is always so wonderful to see her and so hard to walk away. My deepest prayer that I hold is for her to find a good home. Below are just some snippets of my personal blog and some thoughts of my internal struggle and sadness when I think that I have not done enough and that Shelby Angel has not found her forever home.
Shelby Angel has adjusted well to the Memphis Humane Society. She is still a beautiful, loving dog. Nothing fills my life with more gratitude than spending time with animals in need. And nothing hurts more than leaving and KNOWING that I have not made enough of a difference.

Shelby Angel goes crazy when I come to visit. I go at least one time a week to see her. She just can't contain herself when she sees me. It is pure happiness- reserved for me. She loves me.

And after we snuggle, and kiss, and play, and snuggle...I have to walk away. And boy is that awful. My most painful tears are the ones I reserve for her. Or are they for me? Mad at myself I have not done better- found her a home- given her every single thing she deserves.
She gets so upset when I leave. When we are separated, she sometimes even tries to bite and chew through the fence in a panic to get back to me. And at that point I am crying like crazy. And I do the best I can- and I will be there to see her next week, and the next....until we find her a loving home.

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"Please let me be the person my dog thinks I am."